No Laughing Matter
by Newtons1Law
Summary: A Mint Allergy doesn't seem so bad, does it? Well, it's put Carlton Lassiter in a life or death situation more than once. That's why he buys special mint-free coffee creamer for the station. But when some idiot changes out the creamer. That when things go wrong. Shassie


**_"You wouldn't think that the cafeteria is a scary place, but last year someone wiped peanut butter on me. I'm allergic to peanuts..." -Food Allergies Are Not A Joke_**

Toothpaste. Mouth Wash. Hand Soap. IceCream. Cosmetic products. Cookies. Birthday cake. Shampoo. Hair Gel. All some of the many products that contain mint. All some of the many products that can kill Carlton Lassiter. He was barely a week old, the first time that his mother washed his dark hair with baby shampoo. It was supposed to be gentle on the newborn's scalp and so it was made with soothing mint extract. But within moments the toddler went still in his mother's arms and closed his eyes. He didn't even cry as his mouth, eyes and tongue began to swell. The shampoo had gotten in his eyes and mouth. It only took seconds before her baby was motionless and limp, blotchy and swollen beyond recognition and his lips blue and swollen. He couldn't breathe. If she hadn't called the ambulance right then. He would've died in her arms. Carlton was diagnosed with a life-threatening mint allergy. Which was basically a death sentence. Everything contained mint, it would be impossible to avoid it forever. The world was a minefield for her baby. She just had to hope that when Carlton did have an allergic reaction, that they caught it in time.

By the time Carlton was two years old, he'd had four life-threatening reactions. The first was that time with the baby shampoo, the second was when he'd accidentally touched a toy that had been touched by his older brother. His older brother that had just had a peppermint. The third time was when an IceCream vendor had assured them that his chocolate IceCream had no mint in it. He was wrong. The fourth time was when his mother had bought a new hand soap with traces of mint in it. She'd run to the bathroom to find her toddler on the floor, lips blue and struggling to breathe. He would've died if she hadn't passed by at that time. That was why Carlton's mother lived in fear. She had to protect him because if she didn't, she knew that she'd lose her baby. Normal mothers would worry about their children as they went through life, Carlton's mother worried even more so because there were so many more trapdoors that he could fall through.

When Carlton started pre-school at the age of four, it came with a slew of new problems for him. The other kids were normal messy kids and Carlton wanted so badly to be one of them. But he couldn't even have snack time with them. Most of the cheaper juice-boxes contained mint, all the pre-packaged cookies contained mint. He was ostracized from his peers and given his food away from them. Sometimes the teachers would given the kids peppermints for treats, and sometimes the kids would lick the peppermint with their sticky fingers and touch Carlton or one of the toys he was playing with. If they touched him, he would react and he could die. Eventually all the reactions started to take a toll on Carlton's little body. He became malnourished, because the circle of foods he could eat safely was so small, he couldn't gain weight and he failed to thrive. Eventually as he got older, they got better at protecting him against mint, but the problems changed.

He didn't get invited to birthday parties, because most birthday cakes were made with mint. Whenever there was a classroom party, his teachers were forced to send him to the library. Because homemade food could be a reaction minefield. He nearly had to be pulled out of school because his mother didn't think it was safe. His mother had to wage war with the school board because his bus driver wasn't Epi-pen trained and wouldn't allow him to have his needles on the bus. So he walked to school for a while. The cafeteria was a scary place for him. The other kids would laugh at him, they would bring handfuls of peppermints to school, and unwrap and lick them before throwing them at him. He didn't feel safe at school. When he got to High school, things got even worse. They would break into his locker and rub recently-licked peppermints all over his books, prompting him to have a near-death reaction. One day they bought mint toothpaste and mouthwash, and waited for him to get ready to walk home from school. On his way out, they attacked. They covered him with mouthwash and toothpaste, prompting a reaction that almost proved fatal. He was in a coma for three days.

His mom wouldn't let him go back to that school after that.

Once he graduated High school things got a lot better. He began to keep an Epi-pen on him at all times and would mention his allergy now and then. But assumed that he was out of the woods. Or at least he did, until one fatal day at the SBPD. When some idiot changed up the coffee creamer. Carlton had bought special coffee creamer that didn't contain mint. But somebody switched it out. All because of some stupid coffee creamer.

He'd been looking over O'Hara's report, griping over something he didn't really care that much about, when he took a deep swig of his coffee. He then turned around to yell at Shawn and Gus who'd just entered, talking about something that made sense in their minds but not in his. That was realized that his mouth felt funny. But he ignored it, taking a deeper swig of his coffee and instead rolled his eyes at Shawn, who'd dramatically thrown himself in Carlton's lap. He and Shawn had been dating for a while, but he still liked to mess with the head-detective, all with that crooked little grin on his face. Carlton cleared his throat, the funny feeling was so annoyingly familiar and yet he couldn't place it. Shawn was taking about some argument that he and Gus were in the middle of, Gus was butting into the one-sided conversation frequently to state his own views. Carlton tried to listen, he really did. But his lips were tingling and itchy, and he felt the strangest urge to cough. But didn't want to do so in front of his boyfriend. Until finally he turned his head away from the dark haired man in his lap and barked out a wheezy cough that didn't make him feel better in the slightest. He tried to take a deep breath back in, but it came out sounding like a hitched wheeze.

"Hey, Lassie-face. Are you okay?"

Carlton turned back around to see Shawn looking at him in concern, Gus was mirroring the same look. He tried to tell his boyfriend that he was fine, but all that came out was mix between a hoarse whine and a wheeze. Shawn quickly got off of his lap, but that didn't help any and the head-detective scrubbed at his lips. Confused. Then he eyed the abandoned coffee mug sitting on his desk and his stomach sunk as he remembered why the sensation felt so familiar and why the coffee had tasted slightly different that morning. There was mint in the coffee and he was going into anaphylactic shock.

"Carlton. What's wrong?"

Shawn's voice was accented by a rarely-used serious tone, and his boyfriend's real name. Carlton felt like he was a kid again and about to collapse on his mother's arms as he patted down his pockets and frantically searched through his desk drawer. There was a little voice that sounded like a mix of his mother and his boyfriend in his head, it was talking in a strained and terse tone.

_'An Anaphylactic reaction can kill in ten minutes, you've wasted two already. Move faster. Where is your epinephrine injector?' _

But he hadn't needed his Epi-pen in so long, he couldn't remember where he'd last put it. He was having difficulty swallowing already and he was nauseatingly slick with sweat. Shawn was still yelling at him, trying to get his attention. But Carlton was more focused on his frantic search. Then suddenly, his hands were stilled and Gus was staring at him in horror. He could only guess that his lips were blotchy and the wheezing sound of his breathing was getting more audible. His chest felt tight and all of a sudden, Gus was yelling at the surrounding officers. Even at O'Hara who'd come running and was staring at him in worry and concern.

"I think he's having an allergic reaction! He's looking for his Epi-pen but he can't find it! Somebody call 9-1-1!"

Shawn was at Carlton's side then. Helping to keep him calm, but he could see the terror in his boyfriend's eyes and he felt bad for putting him through such a terrifying experience. He swore up and down that he would make sure to always have an epinephrine injector on him, after that. His airway was already starting to close and he found himself lying on the ground. He wasn't sure if he'd fainted or if someone had put him down there, but the entire room was gyrating sickeningly. The voice in his head was back and it was screaming for him to stay awake. But it felt like he was hanging onto the tightrope, like it was too much effort to stay in the middle, but he was too scared to topple off of either side. Shawn was yelling at him too, calling him stupid, irresponsible and swore up and down that he would kill him if he died.

It felt like his heartbeat was pounding in his ears as he jerked and gasped for air. Choking, wheezing and moaning as his swollen airway closed up and his tongue swelled. Shawn was openly crying and Carlton felt so bad. It hurt his heart when his boyfriend cried. He tried to say something, to assure him that he was okay. But no sound came out. Not even a wheeze as the EMTs piled into the station. There were too many voices yelling at him, telling him not to die, to stay with him, to stay awake. But it was just too hard.

He couldn't help but wince as they ripped open his shirt and started frantic CPR. His already spotty vision was blurring and getting darker by the moment. Shawn's voice was the loudest. Shawn's voice was the only one that left him with ringing in his ears. Shawn was screaming the very same thing as the Shawn/Mom voice in his swirly and messed up head.

_"Stay awake! Please don't leave me!"_


End file.
